Have you ever noticed how difficult it is when you are waiting for something? Maybe it’s waiting for a time when you will be less stressed, waiting to get a better job, waiting on medical test results, waiting on the perfect romantic partner, or waiting to get pregnant. During those times, it can be especially difficult to make sense of your situation. Sometimes it’s hard to find meaning or purpose or even a sense of control. The question of control is one of the hardest ones for most of us.

So what can you do while you are struggling with feeling out of balance and not in control? Well, it’s tough, but it requires a lot of surrendering control and at the same time, focusing on what you can control. As you go about your day today, what can you control while you wait for life to unfold? For several individuals I have counseled who were close to death, there was a feeling of control in the knowledge that they had time to let their loved ones know how much they cared for them. For others struggling with infertility, it has been the knowledge that not being able to have a child provided an opportunity to care for others in a way not previously anticipated. Still another person I worked with found joy in just being able to still breathe.

At some point in life, we will all face an obstacle or a situation that we cannot control. What can you do for yourself and others to come from a point of contribution and love rather than surrendering to fear? Remember that you have the power to focus on the present moment. Be patient with yourself, so that you can be patient with others.